For a long time, I had trouble finding a consistent relationship or counterpoint between how I look and who I am. A lot of the trouble came from seeing myself as others saw me, stepping outside and looking back at, which never works, because every one sees me slightly differently, and almost no one saw who I was, rather how I looked. That relationship became dissonant: I played around with becoming who others thought I was or wanted me to be, which confused my self. I was never really sure who I was, constantly re-inventing myself.
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